Healing

4/26/06

Last night during worship at church, while I was singing I was praying to the Lord also saying, "Lord I want my song to be directly to you and don't let my thoughts wonder and don't let my thinking be on myself or others looking at me. I want to Sing to you Lord and only you". Lord, I don't want to worry about "Others looking at me".

I struggle with this during worship:  "Are people looking at me?"   "Are people watching me?" 

 

These thoughts during worship always distract my worship and I know they are from the enemy.  Because we are to be God Pleasers and Not People PLeasers.

 

On my way home as I was praying for a sister at the church, and God showed up in my vehicle.  I began singing in such an intimate way directly to the Lord, directly to him.  As I did this, I again realized, I say, again realized, not only how much I love the Lord but how much of a hold on my heart He has, And also how much he loves his Children.

 

God Loves His Children soooo much.  He desires intimate relationship with us always, all the time. 

 

As I continured to worhip, even when I pulled into the parking lot at the community center down the street, (because I was in no condition by this time to walk into my house) God was working on me. I didn't realize how much healing still needed to take place in me.  I had to forgive myself for failure.  I asked the Lord to heal the wounds I inflicted upon myself and I had to ask God for forgivness for Blaming my husband for things he had nothing to do with.  I blamed him for all the reasons why I acted out.  I had to ask God to forgive me for that.

 

Remember Ladies.  God Loves us so much and sometimes we have to step to the plate and take inventory of our own actions and be accountable to ourselves for ourselves.  Just Like our wonderful speaker said last night.  We are responsible for ourselves.  We are not responsible for our husbands.  We will stand before God at the judgement seat for what we have done, no excuses.  Not for what are husbands have or have not done.

 

1Peter 2:21-3:6.  This scripture brought deliverence to me.

A.