Crying Out

4/28/06

Hi Ladies,

 

I miss everyone too.  I've been crying out to the Lord for cleanliness in my life.  For a life wholly and pleasing to him.  Getting rid of old mind sets and laying aside every sin that so easily besets me that stop the blessings and promises of God. 

 

We can't walk in the light of the Lord and walk in his promises and get every prayer answered if we are not abiding in the vine, John 15.  I've been so so convicted about different things and God is putting me through a cleansing process, I Pray.

 

Jesus said whatsoever you ask in my name you will receive it.  but if you read this chapter with eyes to see,  you'll see that this requires abiding in Christ and a person who is fruitful will have whatever you ask in His name.  The person who is Fruitful. (They are known by their fruit)

 

I'm convicted.  This is where I am.  I need to be Fruitful, I need to grow up! 

 

I've been reading Revelations 21.  WOW!  What an encouragement to do what and live how God wants us to Live.  I told the Lord a few minutes ago, Crying out!!!,,,  “I DON'T WANT TO MISS OUT ON PARADISE. I CAN'T DO THIS CHANGE AND LAYING DOWN WITHOUT YOU.  I NEED YOUR HELP, PLEASE.”  (Just call me Hanna)

 

LOVE YOU!

M.

 

 

Healing

4/26/06

Last night during worship at church, while I was singing I was praying to the Lord also saying, "Lord I want my song to be directly to you and don't let my thoughts wonder and don't let my thinking be on myself or others looking at me. I want to Sing to you Lord and only you". Lord, I don't want to worry about "Others looking at me".

I struggle with this during worship:  "Are people looking at me?"   "Are people watching me?" 

 

These thoughts during worship always distract my worship and I know they are from the enemy.  Because we are to be God Pleasers and Not People PLeasers.

 

On my way home as I was praying for a sister at the church, and God showed up in my vehicle.  I began singing in such an intimate way directly to the Lord, directly to him.  As I did this, I again realized, I say, again realized, not only how much I love the Lord but how much of a hold on my heart He has, And also how much he loves his Children.

 

God Loves His Children soooo much.  He desires intimate relationship with us always, all the time. 

 

As I continured to worhip, even when I pulled into the parking lot at the community center down the street, (because I was in no condition by this time to walk into my house) God was working on me. I didn't realize how much healing still needed to take place in me.  I had to forgive myself for failure.  I asked the Lord to heal the wounds I inflicted upon myself and I had to ask God for forgivness for Blaming my husband for things he had nothing to do with.  I blamed him for all the reasons why I acted out.  I had to ask God to forgive me for that.

 

Remember Ladies.  God Loves us so much and sometimes we have to step to the plate and take inventory of our own actions and be accountable to ourselves for ourselves.  Just Like our wonderful speaker said last night.  We are responsible for ourselves.  We are not responsible for our husbands.  We will stand before God at the judgement seat for what we have done, no excuses.  Not for what are husbands have or have not done.

 

1Peter 2:21-3:6.  This scripture brought deliverence to me.

A.

 

Defending Yourself

4/18/06

Hello Ladies,

I want to recommend you read this small book called: How to Respond When You Feel Mistreated by: John Bevere; the book has 93 pages. This is a powerful book.

 Exerpt from the book:

When you try so hard to prove your innocence, you quickly put yourself at the mercy of your accuser. In other words, your accuser will get out of you everything he believes you owe him. The moment you start making a stink and seeking to justify and defend yourself, you make the person accusing you your judge. Because when you try to answer and defend all of his charges, you in sense are now submitted to him and his view of things. He is calling the shots. If he’s not your judge, why do you need to answer to him? You elevate him as your judge when you feel you have to defend yourself. By rising up and trying to defend yourself at all costs, you forfeit your spiritual right of protection. In the process your accuser rises above you, as his influence is elevated by our self-defense. You actually give him greater influence over you by trying so hard to stand up for your rights. We as Christians have to follow humbly the example of Jesus, who did not seek to defend himself when mistreated, joins the ranks of the finest warriors in advancing the cause of Christ and the kingdom of God in defeating evil! Praise God- what an honor that is! And it all starts with turning the other cheek and staying quiet---letting God be our defender when life isn’t fair.

N.

A Story

A Cherokee Indian elder was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me...it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves."

"One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego."

"The other represents joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. This same fight is going on inside of you, and inside every other person too."

The children thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee elder replied simply..."The one you feed."

 

Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

N.

Missing the Club

4/1/06

Missed everybody,

I'm doing better at not over committing.  I'm trying to only take on projects that deal with my season (area of growth, focus etc).  It's taking me a little while to give people back their stuff and not feel guilty. 

I'm trying to plan my daughters Sweet 16.  I wanted to emphasize her moving closer to becoming a young women.  Perhaps some kind of "rite of passage".

Anyway -- hope everyone is having a blessed week.
C.

LORD bless [your name] watch, guard and keep [your name];  LORD, make Your face shine upon and enlighten [your name]and be gracious (kind, merciful, and giving favor) to [your name];  LORD, lift up Your (approving) countenance upon [your name],and give [your name] peace, tranquility of heart and life continually.
In the name of Jesus, Amen.

From Numbers6:23-26 New King James Version

Peaceful Weekend

3/20/06

Good Morning Everyone,

I pray that your weekend was delightful. I had a very insightful weekend. God removed one more layer of the protection/control blanket I knitted for my self in the many different stages of my life.  In removing this he showed me the root of this layer and why I created and have held on to it for so long. It was very freeing and liberating. However, it is also a bit scary, walking in this vulnerability.

 

Last night a situation presented itself where I wanted to pick the blanket back up, but I didn’t. I got on my knees and I prayed that I keep God on the throne at this time and not try to control the situation. I repented for my thoughts in the situation and asked God to search my heart for any wicked ways and reveal them before me so I can repent and change. I also prayed that God would help me say only what he wanted me to say.  In result of this I was able to bring my thoughts and emotions under the control of the Holy Spirit and the situation did not go where I knew it would have gone if I had not taken the time to pray and allow God to protect me and calm my fears.  

I just wanted to share with you a growth moment for me this weekend. Does anyone else have a growth moment to share?

Be Blessed

Love You All! 

N.